


Be patient

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [73]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Babies, Conversations, F/M, Marriage, Pregnancy, Prison, Understanding, Unresolved, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 05:36:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15700881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Felicity and Oliver sit down and have a serious conversation.





	Be patient

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver's imprisonment. He has been out of prison for 292 days.
> 
> The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Felicity opened the front door and shouted: ”Oliver, I’m home.”

“In the kitchen,” Oliver shouted back almost immediately.

Felicity smiled at herself and kicked off her heels. She left the heels to the lobby and placed her keys on the counter. She walked to the kitchen where Oliver was just checking on something in the oven. Oliver spun around and a smile spread across his handsome face as he saw her. Felicity wanted to sigh with contentment whenever she saw that smile.

“Hey,” Oliver said softly and came up to Felicity.

Felicity whispered: “Hi, babe.”

Then she wrapped her arms around Oliver’s neck and tiptoed so she could kiss him. Oliver’s arms snaked around Felicity’s waist and he gently lifted Felicity until her feet weren’t touching the floor anymore. Felicity ran her fingers through Oliver’s hair and tugged them gently. Oliver growled wordlessly against her lips which made Felicity chuckle.

Felicity broke the kiss and Oliver put her down. She laughed breathlessly. She tried to catch her breath as she said: “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Oliver answered earnestly before pressing a small kiss on the top of her head.

Felicity smiled at Oliver lovingly before she cleared her throat and asked: “How is William doing? Have you talked to him today? I miss him so much.”

“Yeah, we talked on the phone,” Oliver answered and tugged a curl behind her ear before continuing: “He’s having fun. He loves spending time with his grandparents.”

Felicity nodded and sighed melodramatically. Oliver raised a single eyebrow in question and Felicity explained: “My mum is going to demand her turn to have William for a visit, you know? She’s determined to be William’s grandmother. Soon we have to buy a flight ticket to Vegas.”

Oliver chuckled and laced his fingers through Felicity’s. He looked at their joint hands and said: “Our son is so loved.”

“Yeah. He is,” Felicity agreed softly and touched Oliver’s cheekbone with her fingertips. Then she went on: “He’s loved by an amazing father.”

Oliver’s eyes snapped at Felicity’s. He gulped and his voice was thick with emotions as he said: “He’s also loved by an amazing mother.”

Felicity blushed and it was her turn to look down. She knew she was William’s mother but it always made her heart flutter when someone said it out loud. She hadn’t been prepared for motherhood before the role had been thrown to her. She hadn’t been prepared for the emotions which were overwhelming. She had never thought it was possible to love someone like she loved William. Loving your child was totally new dimension of love. 

Oliver cleared his throat and Felicity turned her attention back to her husband. Oliver opened his mouth but sound didn’t follow. He started rubbing the fingers of his free hand together and Felicity frowned at his obvious nervousness. Oliver took a deep breath and blurted: “I think we need to talk.”

Felicity nervously and stated: “Sounds serious. What have you done?”

“I have done nothing,” Oliver said while he rolled his eyes at her. Felicity smiled at him apologetically and Oliver went on: “There has been an elephant in the room since Lyla told us she is pregnant, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Felicity agreed quietly. She lifted her head to look straight into Oliver’s eyes as she said: “I think we should sit down and talk about it.”

Oliver nodded in agreement and Felicity tightened her grip on Oliver’s hand. She tugged his hand and pulled him to follow her. They let go of each other’s hands and sat down at the dinner table. Felicity smiled at Oliver encouragingly when he looked a bit lost. She was sure he was holding his breath. She patted his cheek and said: “Relax, honey. Remember to breathe. It’s just me.”

A low chuckle rumbled from Oliver’s chest and he huffed: “God I love you.”

Felicity winked her eye at him and said: “Well, that’s good to hear because I love you too.”

Oliver grinned at her and Felicity laughed good-naturedly. Then she became more serious and went straight to the point: “Oliver, do you want to have more kids?”

Oliver rubbed his fingers together even more furiously as he nodded his head. Felicity grabbed his hand and pleaded gently: “I need you to say it out loud. I need you to actually say what you want.”

“I want to have a baby with you, Felicity,” Oliver said with conviction. Then he asked worriedly: “Do you want to have more kids?”

Felicity offered him a soft smile and took his hand in hers. She sighed deeply and started: “Yes and no. There are many things I’m worried about. I’m sure you’re also worried about many things because you’re you. Worrying is written all over your DNA.”

“Felicity,” Oliver said gently before she was losing the thread and started babbling.

“Babies? Yeah. Right,” Felicity said and bit her bottom lip nervously. She asked cautiously: “When do you want to have babies? Is it like a two-month plan or a two-year plan or a twenty-year plan?”

“I think we’re going to be too old if we wait twenty years,” Oliver answered half-joking.

Felicity leaned forward and pinched his bicep. She complained: “I’m serious here.”

“So am I,” Oliver reassured her and became more serious again. He took a deep breath and thought his answer to Felicity’s question. Felicity looked at him nervously and after a while Oliver said truthfully: “I think I’m ready now. We can wait or I can take you to our bedroom right now. We’ll do what you want when you want. There is no pressure. If you want to wait, I’m fine with it.”

Felicity offered him a small smile but she also bit the inside of her cheek nervously. Oliver gave her an encouraging nod and Felicity sighed. Finally, she said: “I wish it could be more like a two-year plan. I know I want to have kids with you and it’s not changing. Every day I see how amazing you’re with William. You’re patient and considerate. You almost radiate love and you’re the only one with whom I could have kids.”

“But?” Oliver asked as he placed his hand on Felicity’s knee and squeezed it, comforting.

“Do you remember that visit from child services? Someone just made an anonymous complain about me and our whole lives were spiraling. I’m not scared of our usual enemies, like drug lords or criminal masterminds. I’m sure we can protect our kids from them. However, I’m scared of someone seeing me as a bad mother and taking our baby,” Felicity reasoned out loud.

“No one is ever going to touch our children,” Oliver said with conviction and Felicity could see how Oliver’s muscles tensed up.

A single tear dropped on Felicity’s cheek and she nodded her head slightly. Her voice grew thinner as she went on: “I’m also scared of you dying in the field. That’s a possibility and I don’t want you to promise otherwise. I’m not sure if I can be a single mom again. I got a tiny taste of it when you’re in prison. Every day I struggled when you weren’t there with me.”

“I…” Oliver started but he couldn’t finish the sentence and he just snapped his mouth shut. Felicity was actually glad he wasn’t making any promises. There was nothing to promise because promises like that were meant to break.

Felicity exhaled sharply and whispered: “I’m scared of those things but they’re not the reason why I don’t want to have a baby right now - those fears are going to be there, no matter how long we wait.”

“Why don’t you want to have a baby now?” Oliver asked tentatively.

Felicity played with her fingers and a few more tears dropped on her cheeks. Oliver pleaded worriedly: “Tell me, babe.”

“I don’t want to hurt you by telling,” Felicity said earnestly and turned her gaze down. Oliver gasped and Felicity’s heart clenched. She knew she should tell her reasons but she also knew they were going to hurt Oliver’s feelings. 

Finally, Oliver said quietly: “Felicity, we have to be able to talk about everything. Tell me.”

Tears streamed down Felicity’s cheeks and she took a ragged breath before explaining: “I’m still scared of your unilateral decisions. I trust you but I’m also afraid of you leaving our family because you think it’s best for us. You were ready to sacrifice everything and go to prison. You left William and me, your son and wife. A baby wouldn’t change anything. You have promised you won’t make unilateral decisions anymore but I still can’t believe it. If you think your choice is best for us, you’ll make it without asking.”

Felicity lifted her gaze and she had never seen such pain in Oliver’s eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he looked like he was looking for a way to escape. He turned his head wildly, looking for the way out and Felicity knew he wanted to run away from the pain. Oliver had never been good at dealing with someone being disappointed with him.

Felicity laced her fingers through Oliver’s and drew small circled on his knuckles. She couldn’t let him go anywhere because they needed to talk about everything. Felicity pleaded: “Baby, look at me and breathe.”

Oliver’s eyes fixated on hers and Felicity nodded in approval. She said softly as she caressed his knuckles: “You make your decisions out of love. I know that and I hope you’ll listen to my next words carefully.”

Oliver nodded and Felicity smiled at him encouragingly. She said with determination: “Don’t blame yourself although I know you will. I have forgiven you but I’m still working on rebuilding a certain type of trust. I have always had trust issues because of my dad. I know you’re not like my dad and I love you more than anything. I trust you with my life but I’m always a bit scared of giving my heart. I had never before gone through such pain when you went to prison. There was nothing I could do. It was your choice, not mine. It felt like betrayal. Now I’m not angry with you but I want us to give ourselves time to heal together and individually. I need a little more time before having a baby.”

Silence fell between them and Felicity was worried she had hurt Oliver. That was the last thing she wanted but she had had to be honest. Felicity stared at Oliver whose chest was raising and falling surprisingly steadily. He looked calm but Felicity wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing. She wanted him to talk but she had to be patient and let Oliver take his time.

After a while Oliver said earnestly: “I want to say how sorry I am although you aren’t looking for an apology. Yet, I’m so sorry.”

Felicity offered him a small smile and wiped her tears away from her cheeks. Oliver continued: “I’m not going to make any promises because it doesn’t feel right and you don't want that right now. I know there is always aftermath and I’m extremely lucky because you and William are still here with me. I also love you more than anything and I want you to set the pace. There is no rush because I’m going nowhere.”

“Thank you,” Felicity whispered and her heart swelled with love for her husband. He had understood what she needed. She didn’t need promises about him being trust-worthy. She didn’t need him to say that he wouldn’t make any unilateral decisions anymore. She needed him to be there for her. She needed him to be patient with her, like she had been with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> There are problems with Felicity's spinal implant and Oliver struggles to see her pain.


End file.
